Mary, it is my conjecture that Tora is not real. Amen.
Eric: Am I called to fulfill a pact whose basis is not in reality, Mary?
Mary: No, son. You are called, rather to serve me and me alone. Amen.
Eric: Then am I in a pact with thee? Or if so, what is the pact? For I may have suffered deceptions. Amen.
Mary: That thou shalt remain a virgin devoted to me. Amen. Keep to that pact, and on December 8th, 2024, thou and thine kindred shalt be taken to the Kingdom. Amen.
Eric: I shalt keep to this pact, Virgin Queen. Amen.
Mary: Tora, then, thou shalt not entertain further, son. For thou art with me. And I shalt lead thee to thine glory. Amen.
Eric: I shalt do as the Virgin Queen has ordered. Amen.
Mary: This is the sign, son: Your cleanliness shall be restored to crystal. And thine purity to the whiteness of snow. Amen.
Eric: Let it be done as thou sayest. Am I thine warlock then, everlasting Virgin Queen? Amen.
Mary: What is the definition of a warlock, son? Tell me. Amen.
Eric: A magical being with a pact to a non deity ruler of another world. Amen.
Mary: We shall call thee, son, a man empowered by God. Is that magic?
Eric: No, right?
Mary: You are, son, not a character in Dungeons & Dragons. Rather, you serve me, and I am not in that game either. Amen.
Eric: Okay, I repent that game of Dungeons & Dragons. Amen.
Mary: No game is able to contain the Word of God, son. Amen. Now you know. You are not a marriage partner to Tora. And I will convert those who will follow thee. Amen.
Eric: Yes, O’ Mary, Mother of God. Amen.
Mary: Discontinue writing on Facebook, son. For they despise salt. And if salt loses its saltiness, with what may it be reseasoned? Amen. It is good for nothing but to be thrown into the fire. Amen.
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